“Doctors worry about you — a lot. Not in a cowering, you-might-be-a-lawsuit-waiting-to-happen way, but more like in a, “Please, Lord, let them heal well despite the fact that they are diabetic and still smoking a pack a day, and though I know it must be hard for them to quit, I’ve asked them to stop so many times” way, or a “That specimen looks worrisome. I hope it will be fine and that they won’t need more surgery. I wonder how long it will take the pathologist to let me know?” way.”
This was an excerpt taken from a great short piece written by Starla Fitch, MD for the Huffington Post (Link). I think it’s very enlightening to the lay community about how doctors think and live their lives with the patient mostly being central to it. Although I did identify with most of the piece, I felt very drawn to the paragraph I quoted above.
As a hospice and palliative care physician I do worry a lot. I worry that I won’t be able to control your loved ones pain or other symptoms. I worry the agitation may be too severe to control. I worry that my intervention may be sedating even though my intent is just to control the pain. I worry that my prognosis of time may be way off, since you have family coming in from all over the country, even though you’ve reassured me that “I’m not God,” and “no one really knows.” I worry that you might panic and call 911 even though your loved ones wish is to die at home. And lastly, I worry that your loved ones death will not be as calm and peaceful as you hope.
Do I worry? Yes I do, but I would choose medicine every single time if I had a chance to do it all over again.